MUSICIAN JOKES (CLEAN)

My Dad's Band: Played Gigs For Free

Q: What do you call a drummer in a three- piece suit?

A: The defendant

A boy said to his mother, “When I grow up I want to be a musician”, and his mother said. “Don’t be silly Johnny, you can’t do both”.

Q: How do you know when it’s a drummer at your door?

A: The knocking speeds up.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None – there’s a machine for that now.

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

A Bb, a Db and an F walk into a bar, and the barman says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors”.

Q: How do you know when it’s a vocalist at your door?

A: They can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.

1st Man: “I know a bass player who can make his bass talk”

2nd Man: “Really? What does it say?”

1st Man: “Help!”

“My favorite composers? Well, there’s Johan Sebastian Bach to name just a few”.

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. He holds the light bulb while the whole world revolves around him.

Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They can’t get up that high.

Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?

A: You can tuna guitar but you can’t tuna fish.

Q: What’s brown and lays in the orchestra pit?

A: Beethoven’s last movement.

Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A: A flat minor

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