The kind of world we live in robs most of us of ever having the lover we long for…
(APHEL PERIHEL, “Electronic Ambient”)
This sad fact applies not only to singles but also to plenty of people who are currently married or attached to their “significant other” and who may even appear at times to be happy and fulfilled. For the one-woman man, and the one-man woman, it’s getting harder and harder all the time to find someone who sees life the same way, and even if you do find the “right” one, there’s a high chance that he or she isn’t going to be around for long.
I gathered one or two thoughts which I think every single, and I suppose every married person should contemplate. Note that they are second in importance to the principle that we should all be working on, which is that the Word of God should be our guide in all things, and our will should be subordinated to that of our Creator, no matter how unpleasant and unfulfilling that may seem to be at times.
First, respect yourself. I don’t just mean that you should avoid offering your body to the first “right one” that comes along and all the other “right ones” who may follow. I mean that in this world of self-seeking and narcissism, we can easily be given the message that we are worth little or nothing. Multitudes of people, even in the Church, have fallen for the lie that if you don’t look attractive and sexy, and if you don’t have any money or a good education you’re not worth having. This a lie from the pit of hell.
We need to rise above the message which tempts us to think we’re worthless, and hold our heads high. I don’t mean that we should elevate ourselves so that we’re as conceited as everyone else, I mean we need to realize that we are unique and valuable to God and those around us, whether they realize it or not, and that we only experience rejection because we’re living in a broken, sick, monstrous world. Rise above it all. Separate yourself mentally and spiritually and physically from the lies coming at you from all sides (e.g. advertising) designed to grind you into the dirt.
People are working harder all the time at presenting themselves as being desirable. Realize that this desirability is just a facade in many cases: people are becoming more self-centered, damaged, unfaithful and angry on the inside – the part which would affect you most were you to be involved with them. They may look great, but are they really worth your devotion and adoration? (See my post “Romance and the Pain-To-Pleasure Ratio”) https://nickyfisher.wordpress.com/2013/11/10/romance-and-the-pain-to-pleasure-ratio/
Be your own best friend (apart from the fact that God is always and ultimately your best friend). Again, I don’t mean to say that you should stick your nose in the air and think you’re better than everyone, because then you’re becoming as bad as they are. I mean that you should take good care of yourself-inside and out. Love yourself in modesty and godliness, just as you would love someone else. You don’t need the praise of others to take care of yourself. Be an island, whose King is the Lord Jesus Christ.
Appreciate your own strengths and stop looking at what you haven’t got. Thank God for what you have got and for what you are. Realize that hating yourself and your life is giving in to the schemes of the devil himself, and rise above it and him.
Be the person who is worth having. If you’re rejected, it’s others who are losing out, not you. Even if nobody else appreciates you being the person worth having, God will, and you can take pride in yourself. You can be the person you were meant to be, despite the world around you.
Break free of what drags you down. I don’t mean leave your husband, I mean don’t fall back on drugs or over-work or other things which people use to fill their emptiness and to numb themselves. Make up your mind that you will take care of the body, mind and spirit which God has given you. Make the most of your life, and make it count for God. Enjoy the things which He allows (which are more numerous than some would have you believe). Don’t let others’ opinions of you prevent you from making your life what it can be.
Realize that you are on Earth to serve God, not the other way around.
Absorb into your consciousness the fact that in the end, the Christian cannot lose. Even if you go through life alone, your ultimate destination is in incredible and eternal union with the God who created the universe and you.