As a caution to those of you who are unfamiliar with the nature and intent of satire in this post-comedy age, please be aware that the following letter is not genuine.

Mr. Smith. From the office of the President of the United States.

Having emerged from government bunkers, and the craziest post-war party you could imagine, it has come to our attention that you are the only American left alive eligable to pay taxes in this financial year. We therefore call your attention to a considerable but necessary increase in your contribution, which is required to rebuild the country and to maintain our way of life. Be aware, Mr. Smith, that the the blame for this inconvenience rests squarely on the shoulders of Mr. Vladimir Putin, who, unlike others, refused repeatedly to accomodate our discreet personal requests for lucrative financial deals and settlements, and then started this terrible war.

Rest assured, Mr. Smith, that we’re fighting for your rights, defending your freedom and liberty, and providing you with cutting-edge services from coast-to-coast. Your vote in the upcoming election would be most appreciated as a sign of appreciation, and as a demonstration of your will to stay alive.

As a courtesy to you, and due to the nationwide interruption in digital governance and services, we’re waiving the necessity to file a tax form this year. All we require is that you pay the below amount by April 15th, in order to avoid further legal action, or/and our guys knocking on your back door.

PAY THIS AMOUNT BY APRIL 15TH: $273,000,000,000,000,007.26

Thank you.

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