From HOWLING WOLF LABORATORIES, the makers of “MIRACLE-MOUTH” toothpaste, “MIRACLE-MOUTH 2” toothpaste, “MIRACLE-MOUTH 3” toothpaste, and the all-new and improved “MIRACLE-MOUTH 4X” toothpaste, comes:
“GROW YOUR OWN GOSPEL” – THE GREAT NEW ALTERNATIVE TO BORING OLD RELIGION!!!
Yes, it’s really true! There are no gimmicks! YOU can grow your very own gospel! No more uncomfortable truths! No more self-righteous platitudes!! No more nagging convictions!!! This is the product you’ve been waiting for!!!!
World-renouned scientists and researchers, led by “MIRACLE MOUTH” experts, Drs. Nonsense and Poppycock, in conjunction with the ultimate team of “HOWLING WOLF” technicians” , now proudly offer you the benefits of their LATEST findings.
Using new, cutting-edge grafting techniques (great pun eh??), Drs. Nonsense and Poppycock have produced a dazzling array of “GROW YOUR OWN GOSPEL” cuttings, so that now, in the comfort of your own home, you can be the proud owner of a totally new, totally unique belief system!
Yes – amaze your friends! Stun your enemies! Confound the competition!
THIS IS HOW IT WORKS!
Once you are in possession of our excitingly new and original “GROW YOUR OWN GOSPEL” cuttings, and our great and unique grafting technique (great alliteration, ehhh??), YOU will be empowered and enabled to graft onto those cuttings any idea, belief or concept you like, no matter how illogical it is!
Without giving away any of our deep and amazing scientific secrets, we list below just a few examples of our all-new gospel cuttings, sanctioned by the very Book they were cut and lifted from. If you like what you see, just send as much money as you can, or more, to the address below, and we will send you-FREE OF CHARGE-our entire collection of “GROW YOUR OWN” cuttings, along with FULL INSTRUCTIONS on how to graft your very own ideas and biases onto the cuttings!!
“I did tell you, but you do not believe” ( John 10:25).
GROW YOUR OWN cutting #1/d-35
“Do not believe!”
“…because if you do, you might feel a little convicted about what you did last night…”
“Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial” ( 1 Corinthians 6:12)
GROW YOUR OWN cutting #7262/C
“Everything is permissible for me”
“…and I’ll make a point of doing absolutely anything I want to do!”
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 7:21).
GROW YOUR OWN cutting #22814
“Everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven!”
“…so I’ll just wait ‘till I get to those Pearly gates to say it, and in the meantime, I’ll do whatever I want to do!”
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1)
GROW YOUR OWN cutting #42797/A:
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation!”
“…at all, for anyone (especially me) except perhaps Adolph Hitler, oh, and that bloke who lives next door!”
THE HOWLING WOLF LABORATORIES – TRUTH WITH TEETH FOR A NEW AGE – 666 The Grrr-DEN, Everyopolis, Everywhere,
Copyright © June 23rd 2013 by Nick Fisher